Friday, October 28, 2011

Separate and Married?

I was sitting in the airport a couple days ago, people watching. And I saw several older couples who looked very cute together. They looked like each other, they talked similarly, and you could see that they loved each other. It seems this is getting more and more rare today. 

And I think some of it may stem from the fact that many couples lead separate lives. Husband works in his job and spends more time with his female coworkers than he spends with his wife. His wife works and it's the exact same issue. They both have different friends. Wife goes and hits the gym with her friends while hubby hits the bar with his. 

I think this is one of the biggest downsides to the industrialized and materialistic age. Husband has to be away from home for half of his waking hours, and the same for the wife. When being husband and wife is not about being one flesh, but both continuing your own little separate visions the marriage dies. 

For instance, divorce is a huge problem in the homeschool community. At first, that surprised me. But I spent several minutes reflecting on it and it all made some sort sense. Here's the wife throwing herself into her children and hubby doesn't get in the way. Eventually, wife is spending all her waking hours worrying about her children's education. Husband is not even connected and could care less whether she homeschools or not. And then he's not supporting her so she begins to depend on her children for emotional support. He doesn't support her so whenever he gets home from work she's frazzled and stressed. And then he goes looking for some woman who will take care of his needs and isn't always stressed/the internet. And that's the story..

This is a huge problem. People forget that they are one flesh. They live out separate lives and don't invest in the marriage relationship. I think it would be better to lose your children rather than to lose your marriage. But I think when you are investing in your marriage and work together as one flesh, the importance of raising your children as Godly men and women will come.

We need to stop thinking of marriage as a partnership where we are going into a merger for reasons that benefit both of you. I think it's much more than that. And now I'll go back to my state of not being married and quit posting on this.. <_< lol

Day 283


Marissa said...

Great thoughts Daniel. I agree, marriage is so important, but it's more than just living in the same house. It really is all about two becoming one, having the same goals, same vision, same purpose. It doesn't work to live a separate life in a marriage.

You're posts are always so great! You really think about everything and hit the nail on the head in a simple yet direct and clear way. Keep it up.