Saturday, October 15, 2011

The Courtship Box

A machine requires parts to run. In order to make sure you don't get junk as your completed product you need one thing. Everything that comes into said machine must be the exact same when coming into the box. I think some people apply the same philosophy to courtship. They create this machine called "courtship." Then they go to lots of classes/conferences on it. They read lots of books on it. They want people to tell them how to do it. They have then created their box. But we run into a small problem. The people coming into this box aren't boxy. People aren't widgets. It's rare to find a person who will fit into a box perfectly.

I complain about the education system. And one of the reasons is because people are individuals. They don't all learn in the same way and at the same rate. They don't fit into boxes. But then I go try to create a box for the courtship model?

The thing is, we have to remember the goal of courtship. I perceive courtship as a model that is trying to maintain honor/ purity with an end goal of getting married. You're testing the waters without breaking hearts. In theory. Yet, it seems everyone has a courtship story of a friend or family member who has had a huge blowup. And I think much of it comes from pride. Pride of the father, pride of the mother, pride of the boy, pride of the girl, etc. Plus the other thing is if one sees a courtship as inevitably ending up in marriage you're looking at it all wrong. It's a testing out period. It's not like it's different than dating in its goal, that is to get married. Will it inevitably turn into marriage. No. A successful courtship needs to be seen as one that honored God whether or not it ended up in marriage.

When we approach the topic of courtship we need to remember that we are to honor God, as in all things. People are not widgets. And we must love one another through it. Otherwise, go date. Seriously.

Now I'll take my own advice and take a hiatus from the courtship/marriage topic. *cough* ;-P Day 270