Friday, June 24, 2011

Dating Vs. Courtship Round 1 - Day 157

Btw: I'm really experienced with this so everything I say = awesome sauce.



Marriage is ultimately either the creation of a great man or the ruin of a man. In The Millionaire Mind by Thomas Stanley, the fourth most important factor for those who became millionaires, when asked what made them successful, is having a supportive spouse. To know if your spouse is really going to be supportive then you need to know them...right?

I think one reason the dating system is fundamentally flawed is because it can create this fake aura that does not exist in the real world. You can easily keep a semi-fake personality as you seek to get what you desire. But at some point you are going to have to show the devil in you. The common phrase, "better the devil you know than the devil you don't know" seems to hold true in this situation. This is not necessarily true in all cases, but at least you are more likely to find less surprises. 

It seems that in a courtship you are hopefully going to get a look at real life. You can actually ask the right questions and move through a somewhat more rational approach.

Another reason I appreciate courtship is that you do have good (hopefully) feedback. Having wise counselors in your life is always a good idea in what is going to be one of the most important decisions you are going to make. 

Also, I appreciate the fact that fathers are involved. I understand there are fathers out there who abuse the system of courtship. There are always going to be noobasauruses; but if we assume there is actually love then the system will hopefully work.

One thing I don't always appreciate is that some people make it so rigid and complicated. I understand that you don't want to create emotional commitment in a courtship, you want to keep the heart and body pure. But it is hard for a relationship to grow in a closed bottle with no oxygen.

I think with anything like dating or courtship there are bad ways to do both. Fundamentally I see courtship as a better built system. But if there is no love for fathers, no love for daughters, no love for sons, etc. then it would be better to just date. 

Thoughts? I could write a lot more rubbish. But I'm tired and don't have time to write more lore. Yay!


Veronica said...

Hmm. I understand what you're saying, and I /think/ I know your definition of courtship. However, I don't see that courtship can't create a false aura or create damaging emotional ties as well. Ultimately, I believe it comes down to the people involves, not whether you call it "dating" or "courtship."
I know of three couples right now that are "dating" and yet are striving to fully glorify God, and are people I look up to. At the same time, I've heard of more than one "courtship" that has failed miserably.
I guess what I'm saying is, I think we need to focus less on "courtship vs dating" and more on Godly relationships. It doesn't matter what you call it (to a certain limit, I guess :P), so long as you are focusing on God and not yourself.