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Friday, March 23, 2012

Romance is About Planning

That's probably one of the most unromantic things one could say. The whole chic-flick genre is all about spontaneity, new, and exciting. But is this really how romance works? It's about the spontaneous trips to Italy? It's about finding love in the most spontaneous and fun dude? I don't know. The thing is, what takes priority in your life is that which you schedule in your life. Sure, I guess if you don't have any kids, you don't have a really stressful job but a very high paying one, and you are a creative genius one could come up with a way to keep romance alive in many different ways spontaneously. But how many people are like this?

Chic-flicks or any movie for that matter is about a problem. It's about finding flawed people and putting them in really horrible, stressful, or weird situations and making them react badly to most of the situations they are in. Otherwise, we wouldn't watch it. But is that how our normal lives are? Filled with drama all the time? No. And we need to stop trying to make our lives like the movies, or emulate the movies because it's unrealistic. They pack a lifetime of excitement into an hour and a half. 

The most successful men I know financially are good at planning and scheduling. They run tight schedules that help them to get the most done and find the quickest way to do it. The men I know who make family devotions a priority in their lives schedule it. If in all these other areas people schedule to be successful why not romance as well?

And I get that romance is all the time. It's doing the dishes, it's cleaning up the house, it's putting the little people to bed, etc. It's about serving. And I think scheduling romance is a great way to serve as well. Scheduling the dinners out. The nights away, etc. It means you actually care. I appreciate the fact that my parents go out quite often. They go off for a couple nights here and there. They run out to dinner a few times per month.

Here's why I think marriages will lose their spark over time. Guys are selfish. Girls are selfish. That pretty much sums up my thoughts on it.

What are your thoughts? I'm unmarried and single, therefore my opinion doesn't hold much weight anyways. I'll get back to you in 10 years and let you know, Lord willing. ;-)

3 comments:

Pinecone said...

Great stuff!

I think that if you can't find romance in everyday living, then you haven't really found it on the glamorous night out, either.

Frankly, I think people that have to watch movies all the time need to see just how amazing their lives really are. To me, my life (though most people would call it ordinary) is pretty amazing.

And, all that glitters on the silver screen is usually fool's gold. Those people aren't really that happy, either.

Keep it up! I enjoy reading these.

Paul Leavitt said...

I think that you not only accurately described the plight of marriage (namely selfishness), but of human beings in general!
Though I think that It's especially brought out in close relationships like marriage. If it's not a self sacrificing love, then it's bound to fail sooner or later.
Paul

Marjo.....B. said...

True! People are SELFISH creatures. And oftentimes we imagine marriage as something to please ourselves; something to make us happy! That's why marriages are not what they should be: because we are not trying to make others happy and we are not intent upon living for the Lord!

Norm Wakefield's book EQUIPPED TO LOVE is a fantastic book for anyone- I was shocked when I realized how selfish my love is even for my family!